FR: Temple of Poon

Alrighty, so last night I went to a stripclub. First time sarging a strip joint. Of course.....extenuating circumstances prevented me from going when it would have been easier/better to do so. All those damn whores runnin' around makin that cheddah.


I was wit a pretty large group ya dig. See it was my boys bachelor party. So we roll in spot a table and proceed to oogle the females, and the fight that is on la tele. Everyone is drinking except me..... fucking hell. But that is cool. That just means thats ill remember the titties that were shoved in my face the previous night.


After being there for about 30 minutes the girlies start to come over and (if you have you legs crossed) push your leg down and sit on our laps.


It's funny because they go on rotation around the group until the think they get a bite.


I, however, seemed to be getting a different type, and group of girls on my lap. They girls would sit for what I would later verify to be around 30 minutes..... I never once paid them.


I tried to get them to leave, but they wouldn’t, and I don't know why. I told them how I admired their sales skills, and that I thought their girl friends running around were funny.


They always asked why I said that..... well.... for one... their sales skills are awesome. For instance, I observed a girl dancing on a guy.... giving him a regular lap dance, no happy ending. But every time she noticed another guy staring at them her dance would get more provocative, WHILE she continued to hold eye contact with the guy that she wasn’t dancing on that noticed her. Then without fail, she would walk AWAY, then walk past, and 90% of the time the guy that observed originally then became a customer.... fucking genius.


And as for the friends being funny….. they just are.


I told one stripper her ass was to big, but the rest her was bangin, but that if she wanted to hang with me she needed to sit on the arm rest, she proceeded to bounce up and down…. So I pinched her ass. Hard like too, in a non i-want-to-fuck-you kinda way too. Then I told her I admired the fact shes a strong independent woman, and I asked her how her boyfriends deal with her being a stripper cause most guys get jealous….. yadda yadda. As I am talking I pat the arm rest as if I am telling her to move over there. She complies, and I then tell her to skidattle, go make some money or her boss will be mad.


Both of these girls return later in the night. Neither actually hold me attention, nor interest me, so I don’t pursue passed the warm ups.


NEXT ON STAGE ******


My girl (hbperkytits), damn she was hot. Tight body, and surprisingly no one went up there. I ended up catching her on the last side stage. I had been watching her out of my peripheral. I went up to the stage towards the end of the song as she was getting off stage. I grabbed her hand and said follow me. We headed to the VIP room. She took me to her favorite chair, and did the customary sit in your lap to build rapport, then she starts trying to dance….. I tell her not this song, cause it sucks, and she holds off, and sits in my lap some more. Blah blah blah, stories, blah blah blah. She gets up to dance, and then I get up to leave…. She asks where I’m going and I tell her I’m going back to my boys. Obviously, she’s pissed, and so she tells me I owe her for 3 songs, so it’ll be $90. I tell her I never received a dance, and that I just wanted some place quieter to talk to her, I wink. I leave and after she goes into the back for a little bit, I’m assuming to get de-sweaty, she immediately comes and sits in my lap. She tells me that I have some balls, and that if she wants she could have me thrown out. I am intrigued so I ask how.


She tells me that she was in there for 3 songs, blah blah blah….. I say yeah but you never danced, so I don’t owe you anything, smile and then smack the side of her leg side she is sitting in my lap now. I tell her she should skit and go make some money so that she doesn’t piss her boss off, yadda yadda…. She leaves.


Time spent with me so far: ~30 minutes


While she is still in the area, I grab the next girl I see and buy a dance from her. Hbperkytits is slighty in front of me, still in view and is giving a dance to a fellow there. While she is dancing on him she notices the girl dancing on me. She then climbs on his lap so that she can look over his shoulder un-obstructed at me. I smile at her and then a boob falls into my mouth as if it were magic. Praise Allah! And Halleluiah.


Surprisingly I didn’t have to do much to apparently invoke jealousy into the mix. Right as my girl finished she walked right over to me again and sat back in my lap.


Me: Missed me that much uh?
Her: Why did you have her dance on you I was right here?
Me: I don’t buy dances from girls that I’m into.
You: So you’re into me uh?
Me: yeah, it would prolly never work though
Her: Yeah Im a stripper, so youd be to controlling.
Me: yeauhh no. Make your money girl. If I had titties I would be a stripper too.
Her: So why wouldn’t we work?
Me: Cause we would fight too much over me wanting to have sex all the time, I mean don’t get me wrong, we would be ok for a little while but then my nymph side would kick in, and I don’t think you would be able to keep up.
Her: You don’t know me very well do you.
Me: Nope and I already have you naked and on top of me….. damn I’m good.
Her: I’ll be right back.


(All positive reactions, some fake from her sales training, and most real, I kept looking at her eyes, not her body, my hand was on her thigh…. Cause well… that was the most comfortable place for it.)
Total Time: 45 minutes


I go up to the stage a few more times, and get a semi decent stage dance. Can’t beat it for 2 bucks. I go sit down and HBperkytits comes by and grabs my hand…. Off to the VIP


We find a place, and sit there for a little while before she starts trying to dance. I tell her no, but she does it anyway. I tell her she’s clever for dancing so that way she can then have the upper hand and say she did dance. I call touché. She keeps dancing, nibbling my ear, kissing my neck, making out with me, sticking her hand down my pants, more making out, more fondling, I’m touching the cooter. She is of course all nude from the get go and is grinding on my leg. She dances for 2 songs, dry humps me for 6. We sit in there for another 20 minutes.


In case you’re keeping tabs, if you’re counting the songs then I am supposed to owe her
$330. If you are counting dances then I owe her, $240 dollars. The dances in VIP are $30 a piece.


As we are sitting there in the VIP though, we are talking and she laughs, and taunts me.


Her: haha I got you (she sticks her tongue out)
Me: Touche.
Her: Now you owe me.
Me: alrighy then, what do you want for breakfast?
Her: no you have to pay me
Me: (Smile) I know uh? How much do I owe you now?
Her: Give me $60.
Me: ok, miss naked girl on top of me….(she starts to kiss me) that is going to kiss me
Her: (Smile)


Her: You’re not married are you?
Me: Yes, and I have 3 kids.
Her: (Jaw drops)
Me: No actually, I’m not getting married ever.
Her: Why?
Me: Because no hot girls can ever cook…. :-/
Her: (Laugh)


She then asks me which pocket me phone is in, I say left, and then ask her if shes going to mug me, she laughs and reaches into my pocket gets my phone, puts her number in and calls her phone.


Fin.
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All in all I think I did ok, I know I should have done better, and I know a few things I could have improved. My first hired gun game. YAY!